Vegas Baby

Ok so I realize Im a little late with my trip recap considering I’ve been back for 7 days but oh well.

Vegas was fun and exciting as always but I could tell there was definitely less gambling going on. The streets were still crowded with people, the orientals were still taking pictures of EVERYTHING, the Hispanics were still at every corner handing out nudie cards and the Bellagio fountains still danced every 30 min. However, the tables at the casinos were far from full and there were plenty of open slot machines.

We stayed at the Planet Hollywood Resort (formerly the Aladdin) which was cool. The resort had 1200 rooms and every room has some memorabilia from a different movie or tv show. Ours was some cowboy movie from the 60’s and there were some outfits from the movie behind a glass case. I think the room next to us was an Indiana Jones room. Next time I will be asking them what rooms they have available before I check in.

The casino at Planet Hollywood was nice but not too big. They had a section called The Pleasure Pit and at night all the dealers were well endowed women wearing lingerie and there were two stages at either end of the pit with stripper poles and girls dancing. The point of this is to bring you into the tables to gamble but also to distract you from the game. After some extensive research I can tell you that’s exactly what it does.

The highlights of the trip were:
-meeting Lil Kim at the Roulette table and gambling with her for about 15min and then taking a picture with her (we were the only two at the table at 3 AM, I can email the picture if your really interested). Baby got back for sure.
- eating at Smith and Wollensky steakhouse was also great. That place is the shiznit.
- the Pleasure Pit
- a minor highlight was being able to watch movies on my ipod Touch on the plane (first time I’ve done this). I saw Role Model, Zack and Mira Make A Porn and Yes Man. Gotta love the Dutch Rudder (if you haven’t seen Zack and Mira, you won’t get it. Try the urban dictionary)

Lowlights of the trip were:
-my wife and I donating money to the casinos just as I had predicted. But for what its worth we did a little damage control and got 50% of our money back in the last 30 min before leaving for the airport.
-the poker cards just weren’t falling for me.
-jalapeno pepper at the Mexican restaurant

Overall it was a great trip and I can’t wait to go back next year (hopefully with some of our friends).


And then…….

Off to stimulate the economy

Well, me and the old lady (I’ve always wanted to use that phrase) are heading out to Vegas this weekend to help stimulate the economy. After reading about how bad Las Vegas was struggling and how the towns revenue and tourism had dropped by some 60%, I just felt so bad that I convinced my wife that we needed to head out there and help out the situation. So unless the poker and Blackjack gods decided to help me out, it looks like I will be making several small donations.
I will try to blog about my trip when I get back.

And then………

Four Dollars

That is what I have in my bank account. (As most of you can probably infer from the previous statement, it is a gross understatement to say that I struggle with managing finances.) After I came to yesterday after checking my balance I promptly started looking for the "mistake" the bank had made. The mistake, as it turns out, is that I accidentally paid one bill twice (like I said, finances aren't my strong suit). And it wasn't really a bill at that. It was a check to the church. Great. I had to call the treasurer and explain my ineptitude and ask for my money back. As if this wasn't humiliating enough, her reply (which she was very kind about) was "Let me check, I don't think we've ever had anyone ask for money back." Wow.

So if any of you are wondering what we are up to this weekend, know that it is nothing that involves money....on any level. We will just be sitting tight until our savings transfer is complete ( and praying that happens before the water bill comes out.) So big weekend for us...hope yours is better.

Lessons the hard way

Recently I have had the opportunity to learn some lessons, the hard way of course. For instance, I learned that Mini-MOI is not yet able to handle a eating a banana in her car seat. I, of course, overestimated her and thought this was a great idea at the time. I gave her the banana that she raised her voice 8 octaves over in the store and thought this would make her happy. Naturally, I was wrong. By the time we had driven a total of two minutes (literally 2 minutes) she had concluded that the banana wasn't all it was cracked up to be and proceeded to mash and smear the whole thing on her pants, her car seat, her face...she even managed to get some on the door, which is surprising given her seat is in the middle of the back seat. Yes, banana was everywhere. Note to self, "No bananas in car seat."

The second lesson is that Mini-MOI needs trickier pajamas. Some of you who are reading this who already have kids, know exactly where I am going with this. For others, let me elaborate. By trickier pajamas, I mean that she needs something that she cannot take off. These slip on pajamas, while easy to put on, are also easy to get off. When Mini-MOI wakes up, she commences to taking off her pajamas, followed by her diaper which inevitably leads to "pee-pee" in the bed. We have been lucky thus far in that we have had no "poopies" in the bed. I sit waiting, holding my breath on that one.

The other lesson that I have learned recently is that maybe I shouldn't have taught her the word "poop" quite so soon. Earlier this week, I took her to the bathroom with me and told her that Mommy had to go "pee pee" (somehow hoping that this miraculously registers with her and "POOF!" one day she will just get it and be potty trained. My, how my fantasies have changed.). As we were leaving the restroom, she decides it prudent to shout "Mommy POOP! Mommy POOP!" I am chasing her saying "No, Mommy didn't poop. Mommy went pee-pee." All in vain. Finally I accepted (for the 100th time) that the prudence I used to employ in my daily life is a thing of the past.

PS-I really didn't go "poop."

Interesting Find

After perusing the internet the other day I stumbled upon a site called eventchaser.com which claims to give you free tickets to events in your area if you agree to blog about the event. Now of course I was skeptical because it seemed to good to be true. Free tickets to concerts, sporting events, plays, etc just for blogging about the event afterwards -- I think you understand my skepticism. However, for some reason I decided to send an email inquiring about becoming a correspondent. Much to my surprise I received a response within a few hours and long story short I am now an Official Event Chaser!! In case you couldn't tell, I am very excited about this new gig! And as if getting free tickets to different events wasn't enough, I get to go see one of my favorite bands, The Killers, in concert for my first event chaser event! Now for those of you that the jealousy is too much, you can check out their schedule by clicking The Killers tickets to see when they will be in your area. You can also check out Razorgator to see other events in your area.

Nothing

There are days when I feel like I have nothing to say. Today is one of those days. So why, out of all days, do I pick the day when I have nothing to say to blog?

I don't know, just to annoy you?

Funny or Not?

So I was listening to the morning talk radio on the way to work this morning and the topic was “Ladies, do you prefer a hot guy or a funny guy”. All these ladies started calling the show and saying how they would pick a funny guy over a hot guy any day.
Here is what bothers me about this whole thing. So all these ladies call in and say this because it sounds like the right thing to say or they may think that they really mean this but in reality when they’re at a bar or a club, THEY ARE NOT LOOKING FOR FUNNY GUYS, they are looking at hot guys.

So while it sounds good to say “oh I just want a funny guy”, how can this even be possible when all you look at is the blond hair, blue eye surfer dude at the other end of the bar with the Hollister t-shirt on. I’ve honestly never heard a girl say “oh, look at that guy, he looks ok, but I bet he is funny”. That’s because its hard to find out if someone is funny without talking to them, and its hard to talk to them when your mesmerized by the next Abercrombie model.

Now I, on the other hand, can be pretty honest about this subject. I would prefer a hot and funny girl all in one. But if that’s not possible, then obviously the best looking girl with the biggest set is who I will be watching at the bar regardless of how funny she is or if she can even spell funny.


And then…..

Green Day

The Pontiac Aztec has to be the ugliest car ever made. I just saw one on the way to work and had to write about it. I realize the car has been around for a couple of years but every time I see one, I just think “who thought this was a good idea in the preliminary design stages, and more baffling, who approved this for production?”

Well, its St. Patrick’s Day. I actually have no idea what this day is celebrating other than green beer, green food and green cloths. I guess I could google it but Im not that interested or curious. Im going to be wearing my “Irish I were drunk” t-shirt tonight.

Is it just me, or do we seem to have some kind of holiday every week? Not that I really consider, flag day or presidents day a holiday, but it seems like every week we are celebrating or recognizing something. What the hell is Earth Day. Don’t we celebrate earth everyday? Do we really need to set a day aside for this??
It’s getting to be a little too much. I just like my regular days without the “today is national carwash day” or “today is talk like a pirate day” (this is Sept. 19th). Why do we have to brand everyday for something. When are we going to get the “today is do whatever you husband wants or needs day”??


And then…….

Nothing is wrong with me

This is in reference to my previous post "Something is wrong with me." As it turns out, they never figured out what caused that reaction, only guesses. My "guess" is that some people spent too much on their education to only be able to offer "guesses"as to what was wrong with me. On the other hand, another doctor did actually do some tests and found that I am Vitamin D deficient. This discovery is not in line with the self-diagnosis I came to after watching an episode of Oprah. But I will concede this one to the blood test.

On another note, my transition to veganism is going well. Still haven't completely eliminated all animal fats but that's why I call it a transition. Will keep you posted on this.

Bath time

Surprisingly enough, I am not talking about Abby's bath time but my own. Everyone knows how much I LOVE a bath but I have been feeling guilty about taking them lately because I feel like I am indulging when I shouldn't be. I feel like I have too much to do to allow myself this luxury. It's like having dessert... you REALLY want to, but know you shouldn't, not after every meal anyway.

And then it occurs to me... I haven't showered in two days. Well, that settles that. Guilt resolved. If you need me, I will be lost in the bubbles somewhere.

And the winner is

And here I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my blog partner (only one post since Feb 15th)

I just recently noticed how hot Mariah Carey has gotten (after seeing the video to Touch My Body). And then I started thinking how I didn’t even find her attractive in the 90’s.
This is one of those rare cases where beauty comes with age. So Im not sure if she has had any surgeries or enhancements but I can tell you at this moment she has climbed into my top five.

So now your wondering who my top five are and who got voted off to make room for Mariah Carey.
Before I go into my top 5, I have to throw this disclaimer out there: these girls are all runner-ups to my wife.

Jennifer Love Hewitt : has been at the #1 spot for at least 8 years or since the first time I saw the movie Can’t Hardly Wait.

Christina Aguilera: kinda though she was skanky hot back in the day, but now with motherhood it’s a whole new kind of hotness. Been top 5 for about 4 years.

Jenny Mccarthy: been on the list since the days of hosting “Singled Out” on MTV.
Again motherhood has brought on a different kind of hotness for her.

Tara Reid: Im talking about the Tara Reid from American Pie or Van Wilder. Not the one from the red carpet with the bad boob job or the scars on her stomach. There is something about that raspy voice.

Mariah Carey: The newcomer to the list. She has been getting hotter and hotter in the last 4 or 5 years.


So who got taken off the top 5 list?

Jillian Grace: She was playmate of the month in March 2005. She was 20 years old at the time. She was discovered because of the Howard Stern show, and she had been on my list since 2005. In January of 2008 she announced that she was pregnant as a result of a “brief relationship” with Dave Spade. During the relationship Jillian was 22 and David was 45 (I fucking hate him now, ok not really but it feels like I should).

So now you know my All Star team.


And then…..

My thoughts on...

The show 24 is kind of weak this season. Im not finding myself on the edge of my seat like the other seasons, I guess everything has a limit and at some point every show starts to slow down and become boring (although, I can honestly say Seinfeld never did, at least not for me). And to be honest after 14 or 15 seasons now, Survivor hasn’t gotten boring for me yet.
The #1 advice I can give to anyone going on Survivor is to “keep your mouth shut”. I can’t believe how many of these contestants go on the show and say how much of a fan they are and that they have watched all the past seasons, but yet the first day on the show they try to boss everyone around and then look surprised when they get voted off (im pretty sure that was a run-on sentence).
Also, these people don’t understand that 75% of the challenges are physical challenges, like swimming, lifting, running, jumping, throwing. So why in the hell would you kick off the young strong people knowing you will need them for at least the first 2 weeks. I don’t give a shit if they have a bad attitude, or you don’t like the way they talk to you or the way they look, you don’t kick off the physically strong players until after the merge.

Ok that’s was my two cents on Survivor, look for me as a contestant on the next season, I will be the young strong guy voted off first.

On a totally different note, I just booked a little 3 night trip to Vegas for Memorial Day weekend and am very excited. We were actually supposed to go to Germany that weekend for a friends wedding but with economy the way it is and money being tight, it just wasn’t feasible.
I have to get my poker fix at least once a year. Online poker just isn’t the same as sitting at the table with a bunch of people with their sunglasses on and their ipods playing at a table with less than $20 in the pot. Come on, this isn’t the WSOP. Also I can guarantee that if you stand at any table for more than 3min, you will hears someone telling a story about a bad beat hand that they had yesterday or last week. It never fails, poker players love to talk about bad beat hands as if to try and get reassurance or sympathy from fellow poker players.

We were actually supposed to go to Germany that weekend for a friends wedding but with economy the way it is and money being tight, it just wasn’t feasible.

And then…….

I had no idea....

that NM was back! I tell you, my day just keeps getting better.....wait, never mind. My husband just asked me if he could get a harmonica. I swear, he really is Doug Heffernan (for those of you who watch King Of Queens re-runs). Remember the episode where Doug bought himself a harmonica? Mr. MOI is Doug Heffernan with ambition. You would NEVER see my husband come home and veg out on the couch. Just doesn't happen around these parts. Which leaves me wondering why he needs a harmonica, it's not like he has time to play it.

On another note, I met someone who actually owns a Snuggie and uses it! And loves it. I really thought these commercials were on tv for our amusement not actually for sale. Not for normal people anyway, maybe Jedi Knights. But she is quite normal.... I also found out there is apparently a Snuggie knock-off, Slankets. I kid you not. This proves there is a market for ANYTHING. Snuggie knock-offs, wow.

“Not every night”

After visiting the dentist yesterday, I started thinking about something: Out of all the doctors and physicians that we visit, (just to clarify this for my blog partner, chiropractors don’t count for either of these groups), the dentist is the only one we lie to or at least try to fool.

Now I don’t know if Im the only one that does this but I usually brush my teeth right before I go for my regular visits/cleaning. I guess I do this to show them my teeth are clean but yet I pay $120 for the cleaning. Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to go in there right after lunch and make then earn that money? I mean would you clean your house before hiring a maid to come over and clean it? Or clean your clothes before taking it to the dray cleaners?

I also lie to my dentist every time I go in there.
Dentist: “So, are we flossing every night?”
Me: “No not every night, probably only 3 or 4 nights a week”(when in fact the last time they got flossed was when his assistant did it for me)

I’ve also heard on several different occasions that dentist have the highest suicide rate out of any profession. I don’t get it. Shouldn’t this award go to the guy that has to clean up the set after a porn scene, or the guy that has to clean sewer lines for a living. What about proctologist, they can’t be loving life.

So next time your on your way to the dentist, pick up some spinach dip, and cheetos.


And then……

Part time status

Well its been a while but I’ve reinstated myself on a part time status since I may not be able to post as regularly as my blog partner. Also, I can honestly say my life hasn’t change nearly as much as Moi’s in the last three years.

As Im writing this, my wife is watching some “Lovers Lane” valentine weekend movie marathon event on Lifetime (im having the pleasure if hearing these movies in the background). I would love to take the next 15min to tell you how much I hate this channel but that would go against my attempts at “quality” blogs.

But while we’re on the subject of bad acting, my absolute worst and most hated person has to be the guy on CSI Miami, David Caruso. I can’t stand this guy and the way he talks and acts. I just don’t understand how the networks keep him on, season after season. If your not familiar with this guy just watch the first 5min of any CSI Miami episode and you should be able to spot this sorry excuse for an actor in no time.

How effective are commercials these days? I mean certain stuff I get but a commercial for Milk? Or Pork (the other white meat)? Why are these companies spending money on these ads. Who is Milk competing with, Water? And do consumers really pick their beer of choice based on who has the funniest commercials? Maybe they do, but shouldn’t it be based on taste and drinkability?

And then………..

Pole Dancing

Recently I spoke with a gal who is taking pole dancing classes . I realize this is a legitimate form of exercise. I mean, you have got to have some mean ab muscles to slide down a pole in various positions and then commence to dancing on 4 inch heels upon landing. What I didn't realize, however, was the fact that there are levels of pole dancing....eight to be exact. I asked her if they offer stripes upon completion of levels. You know, ones that you could sew onto a jacket or a bag....to display your achievements. You gotta celebrate your talents.

This conversation left me with more questions than answers and got me to thinking what those stripes might look like and I came up with this. Maybe rather than the typical "stripes", they could have a pair of legs in high heels be their "stripes". And is there a "Pole Dancers Union" that we could present this idea to?

Another question that I didn't get answered is "Where does the trainer get her certification?" I mean, is this what pole dancers do when they are too old for the pole...train younger girls to get on the pole? Or is this simply what the corporate ladder (or more appropriately, pole) looks like for Pole Dancers? Do young girls think "I am going to be a pole dancer in hopes of being a trainer one day" the same way young professionals think " I am going to start out in sales and move to corporate?"

Another interesting fact is that the gym where these classes are offered actually sell stripper shoes. And to answer the question that many of you are wondering, YES, there are alot of clear heels in this mix. The others are metallic. This gives rise to another idea...maybe the stripes could be displayed on the heel of the shoes. There is certainly room for them on 4 inch heels.

Just some food for thought as we head into Valentine's weekend.....

Something's wrong with me

I am very excited about pending tests and blood work that I have had done recently. I am hoping that something comes back abnormal....albeit just abnormal enough to explain what's wrong with me. I don't want a diagnosis that forces me to contemplate my life, my choices that I have made and so forth and so on. Just an explanation, that's all I am looking for.

And while we are discussing that, I will give an update on the anaphylactic reaction. It is doing much better. While it is still present (mostly in my face now) it is much more bearable and does not affect my activities....which is a good thing as I am being chased about showing up at a Happy Hour on Friday. All I can say is, it better be good if I am going to be putting make-up on my face with the way that feels of late. Don't make me regret this, Rick.

Three years, a look back

I was thinking about the last three years.

Some things change. Leave NJ and move to Pennsylvania, get a new job, 0pen a business (www.MOIskincare.com), get Pregnant (oops), have baby, quit job, learn how hard it is to manage biz and kid

And some things NEVER change. I can STILL do (and should be doing) Holly Rowe's job. (If ESPN is reading this.....call me.)

Speak-easy

Sometimes I wonder if I even need to teach Abby to talk, she seems to be doing a mighty fine job of getting her opinions across without ever having to speak a word.

Example: She is marching in the foyer stomping her feet. Translation: "It's time to go...now. I do not like wearing shoes...or socks for that matter, so you had better make this worth my effort."

Example 2: Lying, face down, on the rug at the front door with her hands and feet spread out as far as they will stretch. Translation: " Let's go! Even if it means putting on my shoes and socks."

Example 3: Piercing squeal while riding in her carseat. Translation: "I HATE NPR!!!! Really, I do. "

Example 4: Arriving at the store with chewed up and spit out string cheese on her dress. Translation(as if one is needed): "I changed my mind about the cheeeeeese. Turns out I didn't really want it after all."

Example 5: Refusing to get out of the bathtub long after the water has been drained. Translation: " Not done yet. I will be staging a sit in."

With this kind of communication now, I can't imagine what it will be like when she can actually speak.

Technology and I.... Arch Enemies

So if you have ever wondered what happens when I try to start handling my own technology, take a peek at my website, www. MOIskincare.com. Notice anything? Or better yet, notice that something is missing? Yes, you are correct. That is my header that is gone. As I was trying to replace my header today (with a better version of what was already there) I somehow have been denied access. However, I did not attempt to replace the old header with the new header until AFTER I had deleted the old one and had made too many moves to Undo my way out of this mess.

I suppose while I am waiting for an answer from my support team, I will try to wash my hair without curling up in agony. I have to say, I am seriously considering dreads.

RIP TIger Chick

As of last post, I thought my name (on this blog anyway) was Tiger Chick. I see now that I am known as MOI, as I am known everywhere else on the internet. Which makes me consistent at the very least. Consistency is something I could use a little more of in my life. I don't hold out much hope for that with Mini-MOI (as she will now be known, instead of Tiger Baby). But as they say "Variety is the spice of life." If that is the case, then we definitely have flavor!! What flavor we are has yet to be determined. We only know that we are not vanilla, perhaps something more along the lines of cayenne.

Three years later...

Well, almost three years anyway. I completely forgot about this blog I started with another friend. I don't know if he will continue to post but I have been swamped with thoughts lately that I have wanted to share. I also Tweet, but given that I am limited to 140 characters on Twitter, I needed another space to share all of my profound thoughts.

Profound Thought Number 1: Whatever an anaphylactic reaction is, I don't care for it. It seems as though I am having an anaphylactic reaction to some anti-biotic that I was taking. This little medical adventure has sent me to two doctors, one chiropractor and one ER. No one has any definitive answers, but the closest thing we can agree on is an anaphylactic reaction. I do not recommend it.

Profound Thought Number 2: Snow sucks, with one exception. That exception being that there is too much snow for work and Tiger Guy can stay home and let Tiger Chick have her anaphylactic reaction in peace.

And an update (there are many since it has been three years): Since the last time I posted, Tiger Chick and Tiger Guy had a Tiger Baby. Tiger Babies are a lot of work. Alot of work.